Bubs
Biography Bubs (full name: Bubs Concession Stand, as confirmed in Homestar Ruiner) is the all around fix-it man. He has a round blue head, mismatched eyes (his right eye is white with a blue iris while his left is simply a black dot), and a permanent toothy smile that moves when he talks. His upper body is orange, and according to Strong Bad, Bubs has flipper arms. He has a green stripe around his middle which, according to Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, is a belt, and his lower half is colored dark gray. Running his own concession stand, Bubs is a sharp salesman and shady black market operator who will sell almost anything, and has developed a habit for selling ridiculous items at a humorously high price. Bubs is also on the run from at least one collection agency, though at the same time he represents at least one collection agency, as seen in other days. He also has been seen operating the Baloney Sammich Truck, which he drove down to the beach in Weclome Back. However, he only sold "exactly zero baloney sandwiches" during his "best year ever." Bubs resells Internet access, although he rips off his sole subscriber, Strong Bad, in 99 different ways (though none of them are "throttling down", as Strong Bad claims). It's likely that not all of his dealings are exactly legal, considering his reaction to a practical joke from Strong Bad in lackey, and trying to dispose of items marked EXHIBIT A and EXHIBIT B (presumably a human pancreas which he tried to sell to Homestar Runner) in Bug In Mouth Disease. In his spare time, Bubs reads back issues of Motor Trend magazine, and also hangs out and talks with Coach Z. Apparently, Coach Z got on Bubs's bad side near Thanksgiving in 2005, and to get even, Bubs made a "Coach Z, you jerk!" float for the Fall Float Parade. (Coach Z retaliated by saying "Serves him right, then" when Strong Mad stole his concession stand and marched with it in the parade.) In narrator (February 2006), it was shown that they had patched things up and were once again having boring conversations about Bubs's napkins. Bubs also apparently has licenses to do a lot of different things, such as being a Bail Bondsman, Paranormal Investigator, Normal Investigator (not at all associated with "Bubs: Paranormal Investigator"), and "Dr." Bubs (TV/VCR repair). As shown in licensed, Bubs apparently has an inverted and twisted understanding of what quality of product to sell where, due to the fact that he sells apparently "consumer-safe" products on the black market, and hazardous products at the concession stand. (The fact that Bubs sells "consumer-safe" products on the black market isn't entirely true, as The Cheat had an allergy to some ferret ointment that Bubs was selling, and the piñatas contained broken glass which injured Homestar.) Bubs dances and attends night courses at Disco Tech. His facial configuration is puzzling; in Pumpkin Carve-nival, he appears to have a safety pin stuck through his face above an internal ear. In Strong Bad's record book, he was solely declared "Cutest couple." Bubs's alter-ego is the Thnikkaman. During Decemberween, he also turns into the Dethemberween Thnikkaman. No one but Homestar seems to suspect any relationship with Bubs and the Thnikkaman. In unnatural, Bubs was mutated into King Bubsgonzola Supreme after being flushed down the toilet. Strong Sad cured this with a bowl of kashi. In original, Strong Bad claimed that there was another Bubs, known as Original Bubs, who had great eyesight and could always see Homestar "from over there". Bubs got angry and claimed that he was the "100% All Original Bubs". He claimed, "If I had thumbs, I'd be sticking 'em up my armpits right now!" Marzipan claims that there was no such character, but Homestar claims to miss him. It is possible that there was another Bubs before Marzipan ever came into town. According to a discussion by The Deleteheads in fan club, Bubs has apparently been married at least twice, since Strong Sad mentions his first wife. In Most in the Graveyard, Bubs claims that many of his distant ancestors invented certain business practices: Great-great grandfather's cousin Harold, who invented the "Bait and Switch"; his brother Mort, "No Money Down"; and Zgor, another relative of Bubs. It is also mentioned that he has a sister, whom Coach Z seems to have feelings for, and that Bubs's great-great granduncle, who made "No Payments 'Til 2010," was apparently the same person as Coach Z's great good-aunt. If true, this would make Bubs and Coach Z sixth-fourth-second-fifth cousins, thrice removed, although Bubs claims that Coach Z is lying. In Strong Badia the Free he made a country called Conncessionstan, also known as Concessionstantinople, which was ruled by Bubs and consisted of his concession stand. Bubs describes it as an autonomous commonwealth. Its form of government is unclear, but Bubs asserts that it is neutral territory. Therefore, Strong Bad cannot conquer it (nor is it necessary to do so to win the game). Its flag features yellow images of the concession stand, a bear, a grenade, and an organ against a red background, a design similar to the flags of many communist states. Also, Strong Bad tricked Bubs and Coach Z into reforming their band "the two-o duo-o" to enter the battle royale of the bands in Baddest of the Bands. Category:Characters